On “doing more”

do more of what makes you sparkle

June was very tough at work and very busy time at home with end of year plays, parties and birthdays. I have not written a proper post for a few weeks now and all written in June were done on the planes…. I am exhausted and I question whether I was right in assuming “I can do more”.

I thought I can do more as a professional. But doing more professionally requires more energy that has to come from somewhere. With doing more comes more travel, more intense schedule of deliverables and more direct accountability…

So here is the questions: what I will do less and who will pick it up…

My daughter asked few weeks ago:

Mama is this you last business trip?

– Last in what period? 

– Well, last in this year?

– Depends which year you are looking at – calendar or fiscal. Yes it is june 21 and it is my last business trip in this fiscal year that ends in June… I cannot promise it is last in 2016 yet.

There are days when I wonder if I should do more… The key question in my mind over June was: how do I find the balance back and when should I know it is enough? When to stop myself and do what I really can instead of aspiring to more – that leads to collapse on many other fronts.

Here are my thoughts on doing more (I have not defined what works and does not work yet…)

  • Do more of it is rewarding as you like to be rewarded (at certain milestones)
  • Aspire to more at work if it is not damaging the family relationships (watch out for small signs like “the last business trip”- this was a clear sign my “more” is her “enough”)
  • Set the milestones/checkpoints to assess if you see any benefit of doing more “what do you get out of doing more”
  • Think bigger together – where it will take us as a family – is this contributing to a bigger family objective that everyone is aligned to. If not, it  might be challenging to convince others to pick some of the “do less” things
  • Think about your biggest discomfort – is this not being rewarded or is this “I am so exhausted I can barely breathe” which is how I feel after ending the tough month of June.
  • Give up temporarily everything you have extra. I stopped reading and writing. I did not attend the ‘lean in’ community I liked so much. I cancelled all extra travel for fun. I just focused on work and family to get through it. I did exercise.
  • Do not give up important family occasions no matter how difficult it is to make them. Find a way. My husband had a birthday and we still managed to bake a super cake with kids on Wednesday evening and I organized a big party over weekend. Monday afterwards was the most tired day of the year but I feel very good now a week after not compromising on what is important.

I am happy I am heading into July period when vacations start. I will have July and August with hopefully lighter period at work to decide how to bring the balance back and make it manageable….

____________________________

I searched for a picture to visualize this post on Pinterest. I typed “do more…” and it automatically suggested “do more of what makes you happy”…. And it provoked a diverging thought and and a question “is doing more making me more happy?”

I search “try harder..” and it suggested “ try harder or walk away”…. This is taking me too far.. I do not even want to think about it yet.

Then I found something I really liked  “Do more of what makes you sparkle”  and I thought this is it.

Do more of what makes you sparkle! Have a great week!

Polina

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